Hate That I Love You

I hate that I love you..." How ironic this statement is... but, I realized that it's true... have you ever said this to yourself or to someone? In a relationship, couples discover the 'other-side' of their partners... and the magic of love is... you learn to accept and still appreciate your partner. I wonder how many times did Joel asked this to himself... hehehe!

"May we love with all our hearts and accept the unlovable side of others. For anyone can love a rose, but only a great heart can include the thorns."

I am lucky enough that Joel has a great heart- He loves both the 'good jenny' and the 'bad jenny'... his love inspires me to change into a better person. It really inspires me to break my thorns.


"But I hate it...You know exactly what to do, so that I can't stay mad at you...."

"But no one in this world knows me the way you know me, so you'll probably always have a spell on me..."

Seven Principles in Conflict Resolution

In a relationship, one can't avoid any sort of conflicts. During the first months everything seems to be perfect and smooth sailing. Everything appears to be bearable and tolerable, but that was just during the first months. When a relationship starts to grow (or to count years) and has reached a certain point when you become comfortable with each other, you start to demand some adjustments.

Conflicts can lead to arguments and is inevitable in every relationship,may it be in family, peers, or romantic affairs. Even the most ideal of all relationships suffers from challenges and trials, what's important is how we handle and resolve each and every conflicts. Every disagreements should be dealt with accordingly.

Seven Principles of Conflict Resolution

1. Urgency

"Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:26,27)

When Bien and I first started, I mentioned to him this verse. It has been our rule not to call a day without resolving our conflicts. We agreed that, should there be any conflicts incurred during the day, it is our rule not to call a day without resolving them.

The problem is sometimes when a problem crop up, couples tend to ignore the situation not knowing that it only ignites more when not attended to or solved immediately. Yes, it's true that silence can cool the flame down... only temporarily.

Issues should be confronted and resolved at once and as quickly as possible. Letting the day pass and be hostile with your partner will produce multiple hostilities for the following days. Like in any kind of diseases, the longer a problem is left unattended and ignored, the faster it grows, and the faster it spreads, and the faster it destroys a 'once healthy' relationship. In addressing a problem, it is important to rule out the "root of bitterness". Ignoring the problem will create a confusion on the part of your partner. Your partner might think that if you really cared enough, then you could have done something and exerted all means and effort to resolve the conflict.

2. Bifocals

Like in any coins, they represent two sides...and each side is unique! According to an author of a book on conflict management, "In every argument, there are three sides... your side, my side, and the right side!"

It is important that each should listen to the expression of those inner feelings, respects the right of the other to express without interruption even when it is perceived that such expression may be inaccurate... wait, you can have your turn, anyway.

Lovers must aim for a meaningful dialogue; an open communication is crucial for conflict resolution. Each must be willing to talk and each must be ready to listen... there is a difference between 'willing' and 'ready'... By doing so, a productive interaction will be achieved.

One way of understanding your partner is to try to walk in his/ her shoes, trying to see and feel the issues from your partner's perspective.

3. Altruism

Human beings by nature are selfish. We are addicted to putting ourselves first. Having listened to each other, and having understood the needs and desires of one another, the challenge is to put one's partner's desires above one's own, and to please one's spouse above one's self... that is Altruism. Easier said than done, huh...

4. Action Plan

All ideas should be listened and examined, and a decision made on the options that best meet the need of both parties. An action plan must be specific and should not be static... it should be dynamic. Periodically, partners need to sit together and do an honest evaluation: Is the plan succeeding? If not, why not? What changes need to be made? How should such adjustments be implemented? Remember, action plan must be dynamic. It is not enough to set an action plan without implementing it and this needs the willingness and participation of both parties.

5. Golden Words

One vital aspect of conflict resolution is the experience of forgiveness. It involves the request for pardon, the granting of pardon, and the acceptance of forgiveness. We should accept that in an argument, both persons are right and wrong.

The easy question usually readily answered is "Where was my partner wrong?" and the hard question, but the really important question that needs an answer is "Where was I wrong". It is easy to examine my partner, it is difficult to examine myself. It is easy to point my finger on my partner's fault, ignoring my share of faults.

"Examine yourselves... test yourselves" (2 Corinthians 13:5)

Confess our wrong to each other... "Confess your faults to one another...that you may be healed." (James 5:16)

For all types of healing - physical, spiritual, emotional or mental - confession is a requirement! If we fail to forgive, we will not be forgiven (Matther 16:15) and remember even when forgiveness is not requested, in the heart of the one offended, pardon shall be given. When forgiveness is granted, that pardon should be graciously accepted.

6. Optimism

Partners must stay optimistic on their actions, reactions, and interactions. Believe that success is possible and expect it.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith in small as a mustard seed... there is nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

Candidates for success never stop trying. "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again." (Proverbs 24:16)

True love is persevering, optimistic, and never gives up. It "always trusts", it "always hopes" (1 Corinthians 13:7)

7. The Prince

The final secret of for resolving conflicts is the presence of a 'third person' - 'Divine Third-Person'... He is Jesus.

The Savior is able to bring healing for He is 'able to save to the uttermost' (Hebrews 7:25). One of Jesus' special title is "Prince of Peace". The Prince responded only when partners called. After we have confessed our faults to one another, we should 'pray for each other' (James 5:16) that our healing may be complete.

"For He himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility."

Pet Personality

Guess what I've read from the Reader's Digest (March Issue) on "Pet Personality"...


"Pets and their owners are just like married couples and they get more alike over time, according to Professor Richard Wiseman of University of Hertfordshire inthe UK, who surveyed almost 2500 pet lovers about their charcters and those of their pets. He discovered that the longer animals had been with their owners, the more likely they were to share similar traits. He found people who have dogs believe they are cheerfuk and fun-loving, while cat lovers consider themselves dependable and sensitive. Fish owners are apparently the most contented, while those who keep reptiles are the most independent" (Reader's Digest, March issue, p.14)


My golly, it seems that I am cheerful, fun-loving, dependable, sensitive, and contented... for I have dogs, cats, and fishes... (plus lots of birds), except for reptiles... I once had an Iguana... but I got scared since it bite my lips when I attempted to kiss him (hahahaha)... Maybe he doesn't feel like to be kissed by me! My greatest fear is snakes (next to cockroaches)... definitely, I will never have reptiles as pets anymore... but I knew lots who are really fond of reptiles, esp. with snakes, and iguanas and I found them really daring and bold... I call it BRAVERY and SPIRIT... hehehe.



I am a great lover of dogs... I have 5 dogs right now, which used to be 8... I cried a lot when I lost Akira (japanese spitz)... she's my companion, baby, comforter, bestfriend. Anyway, i still have 5 now. I just wonder how my life is without dogs!!!!


Then, I have Frederico (8-colored parrot), who never played with anyone except to me. He would sing and dance everytime he sees me... He whistles as his way of calling my attention, and when he does, I have no excuse not to attend to him.


I also have fishes both in the aquarium and our mini-fish pond in the garden... they are soothing to watch. I feel so calm everytime I watch them swim. I knew whenthey are hungry... they would swim fast upwards as if telling me to drop some "fish-foods".


My siamese cats are very sweet and spoiled... they want to be cuddled always... Whiska would bite my big toe if I don't give her the attention she wants, while Whisker would jump on my tummy and do the smoochy thing...rubbing his entire body until I stop doing my thing and play with him (how selfish they become, sometimes...or maybe they're just missing me).


Surely, whatever pets we have, it reflects who we are based on how we treat and care for them and how much love we give to them. Pets are loyal to their masters... the love is communal. They don't just give equal love...most of the times, more!

She's Timeless

Just some of my favorite songs from my favorite singer...the timeless, Madonna!

Take A Bow... (i just love this song!)



This Used To Be My Playground



Crazy for You (now, this one's for you...my dear Bien!)



...if you read my mind, you see i'm crazy for you touch me once and you knew it's true! i never wanted anyone like this...it's all brand new, you feel it in my kiss... i'm crazy for you...

Thank You

Again, I feel so grateful to Hye for sharing her award to me... the Blogging Friends Forever (BFF) Award...

Talking about awards... I searched on the wikipedia to see its description.

"An award is something given to a person or a group of people to recognize excellence in a certain field; a certificate of excellence. An award may also simply be a public acknowledgment of excellence, without any tangible token or prize."

It really flatters me everytime I receive awards and I guess this kind of recognition motivates a person to do better. Thanks a lot Hye... I'm kinda new here in the blogger's community and it feels great to be welcomed and appreciated... hope to share awards to you too, someday!!!

With deep gratitude, I want to share this as my way of saying thank you for the warm welcome you have given me... it feels greet to have you around, guys!

This is for you Hye, Blue Dreamer, Coolingstar9

My Top Five Blog Sites

I received this tag from Blue Dreamer... I am trying to get myself acquainted with tags... hehehe thanks to Blue... I'm learning a lot from you.

+start copy here+
"TOP FIVE HOTTEST BLOG MEME"
RULES:
1. Simply choose five blogs you want to be included in your "top five list".
2.Give a short line or explanation why you put them on your list.One explanation for eachof every blog.
3.Now tag as many blogs as you want.You can also tag those blogs you've listedin your TOP FIVE....you can also put your own blog in your list if you want
4.[for those who've been tagged]you can also vote for a blog that was been nominated already
(besides,this is what this meme is intended for,to know how many bloggers will nominate your blog)
5.Submit you TOP FIVE HOTTEST BLOG ENTRY here . Submitted blogs will be the only one to be included in the tally
6.Remember:Submissions of entries starts from MARCH 1 2008 to MARCH 25,2008
and top five hottest blog winners will be anounced in MARCH 29,2008
7.enjoy listing your top five!!!
+end copy here+

So, here's my top five favorite blog sites:

1. bluedreamer

Blue Dreamer's blog site is one of the sites I really enjoyed hanging out... I'm learning a lot from his top five's entries... more than being informative, it is fun and interactive, as well!

2. worldcreep

I love this site...really! Because I love creeps just like Blue...hahaha! I get reunited with those creep creatures that I enjoyed watching when I was young... The site gives an in-depth description of the characters of the award-winning horror, thriller films!

3. spaceofreality
Honestly, I love to read Hye's write ups... I can relate to her posts... so realistic and practical. Hye welcomes the opinions of the readers... our opinions count!

4. coolingstar9

I appreciate coolingstar's blog site. The presentation is very simple, both layout and texts. The topics are practical just like Hye's! The name speaks for itself... it's really a cool site!!!

5. mumshavelivestoo

Sophia's site speaks of her life as a career woman, a wife, and a mom. I find her life very interesting... her ideas are overflowing...good choice of topics, very heart warming... She's a depiction of a true modern woman..with a big heart for God, her family and others!

...there's still a lot more I want to include... but I only have to trim my choices into FIVE...(as instructed by Blue)... I guess this teaches me self-control and improves my critical thinking skills... hehehe! Many thanks to you Blue...

Get To Know Me...

Hi Blue... I'm trying to do this and I hope I get this right... thank you for tagging me for GETTING TO KNOW YOU, GETTING TO KNOW ME... here's mine!!!!

1. What is your occupation? project acquisition coordinator/ editorial department in a publishing company

2.what is the color of youre socks right now? hehehe... right now, i don't wear socks on my pair of 2" skinny, heeled pumps...

3. What are you listening to right now? Get Low of Flow Rida... "she hits the floor, next thing you know... shawty got low...low...low...low..."

4. What was the last thing that you ate? my favorite... Mc Chicken burger

5. Can you drive a stick shift? nope

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? RED

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My Angel

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? a lot!

9. Favorite drink? Coffee, Coca Cola

10. What is your favorite sport to watch? table tennis

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes!!! when i was in college, i dye my hair almost every two months... i used to have very short hair cut (boy's cut, you know...astig!)

12. pets? i have 5 dogs, 2 siamese cats, 1 parrot, 4 love birds, and lots, lots, lots of fishes

13. Favorite food? "pinakbet"

14. Last movie you watched? Vantage Point!!! wow... it's a must-see movie!!!!

15. Favorite Day of the year? Day(s) pwede? August and September 8

16. What do you do to vent anger? inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale....1, 2, 3...100! hahaha

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? huhu... i don't have a favorite toy before... but now... my favorite stuffed toy is "guyito"!

18. What is your favorite, fall or spring? "you got a friend...." winter, spring, summer or fall... all you've got to do is call... hahaha

19. Hugs or kisses? hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs....

20. What kind of pie? mango pie and apple pie (of Ala Dianne...here in QC)!!! yummy... slurrrrppp

21. Do you want your friends to email you back? i love to....

22. Who is most likely to respond? my friend in the US... Jeanne Paz

23. Who is least likely to respond? -

24. Living arrangements? now... with my parents? did i answer it right? hahaha

25. When was the last time you cried? last night (March 2, 2008)

26. What is on the floor of your closet? my bedroom slippers (blue...i've read your answer here...lol!!!!)

27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? i'm new to this... i'm trying... my best...hahahaha

28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are sending this to? i haven't sent any...yet! watch out til i learn...hehehe

29. Favorite smell? Clinique Happy

30. What inspires you? my relationship to... God (my ultimate inspiration), parents, and of course...friends!

31. What are you afraid of? cockroaches.... my greatest fear!!!!

32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? spicy!

33. Favorite car? CRV Honda...

34. Favorite cat breed? any breed... i adopt lots of street cats (pusakal...hehehe)

35. Number of keys on your key ring? 5

36. How many years at your current job? 5 years and counting...

37. Favorite day of the week? wednesday

38. How many provinces have you lived in? none...

39. How many countries have you been to? 2, so far.... hopefully 3... by the end of 2008!

Again, thank you so much blue dreamer... i'm trying my best here... hehehe... i'll try to tag others that I knew in blogging... hope... you get a glimpse of who am i...