MOMENTS

I was at the Samba-likhaan Foundation (Asian Institute for Liturgy and Music) yesterday for a meeting. We are working on a project for MAPEH (Music, Art, P.E & Health); more specifically on Music textbooks with accompanying CDs. It’s going to be first in the Philippines. Since, most Music textbooks used in the public schools don’t have CDs, and even in private schools as well. Even when I was studying way back (?) years ago, we didn’t have CDs in our music subject. Maybe that's the reason why, I never appreciated the subject that much as compared to art and physical education (PE). I was wondering then, how the songs are being sung or how they sound like! Anyway, it’s good that the government is really gearing towards improving the quality of education in the country!

That’s a very long introduction to my article (lol).

Main Point

While I was inside one of the music rooms, a very interesting poster caught my attention. It says: Choir’s Rule: #1 The director is always right; #2 If the director is wrong, refer to rule #1!

Isn’t it really interesting? It is RIGHT, I thought to myself! I began to relate what I've read to my spiritual life! I began to rephrase them, replacing the word director into God! That makes it Christians Rule instead of Choir’s.

In our lives, we have to trust that God always want the best for us. Whatever stakes, pains, conflicts, and failures we have, still God has a purpose why He allows us to experience them!

As I said from my previous articles, lately had been too rough and difficult for me. I faced too many personal issues especially in my relationship with friends, fellows, and even to myself. Only to realize that those are nothing compared to my relationship issues with God. My 'being hard' with myself and others greatly affected my spiritual life and relationship with God.

I always tell myself that I miss my old self! Why it has to be so difficult and stressful each day? Or am I just taking things too seriously? I believe I should, but it’s hard! I have so many worries inside my head. Worries are over flooding my head and I wanted to tell everything to God, but I just don’t know where to start.

I wanted to complain because I find it hard to follow his beats and I feel that I just couldn't catch up with the tune anymore! But as written in the poster... He is always right no matter how hard life may seems; no matter how hard to follow and live with His rules, still, He is always right, and we are called to obey and follow Him. In whatever circumstances, we are expected to follow and pursue what is right! (now, that makes being right very very hard!)

When I saw that poster in AILM, I realized how my faith weakens everytime I am troubled . I forgot the things, I used to strongly believe, "that God never abandons or forsakes those who trust Him". God helps those who help themselves… a big faith says: Do everything to your best ability and leave the rest to Him. I forgot how I used to leave my worries with him and manage to stay happy even when pressed with problems.

It is now Lenten season and I guess it’s the best time to pause and be still; to have a quiet moment with Him; to devote more time with reflections and prayers. Those are the things I really missed about myself! My availabilty and my TIME with Him!

Definitely, I will take THIS best time to rekindle and renew my ‘somehow’ withered faith with him! It’s never too late to change. It gives me hope everytime I remember that God always offer us the chance to reunite ourselves with Him. I need not go far because He is just a prayer away!

Have a blessed Holy Week to everyone! I’m going to miss you all!

He is my life's director and conductor, I shall never be lost!

A New Life in Our Lives

When it rains, it pours! I said so because the past several months had been rough and difficult. I faced a lot of difficulties especially dealing with some personal issues. On the brighter side of things, I am very proud and happy to announce that we have a new blessing in the family… baby NICO!

Dominic Asher, a 7.4 lbs baby boy, born in one fine Friday morning (March 6, 10:12 AM) delighted every hearts in the family. I will sound too biased if I say that among the 12 newborns in the nursery, he was the cutest and the healthiest! Sure thing he is! He was born via caesarian operation. He is the first son of my elder brother and the first grand son in the family. So, that really excites us all! We are all going to experience “first-time” feelings… it’s going to be a first-hand experience for all of us in the house.

The first time I saw baby Nico, I couldn’t really determine whom he got his features, and I think it’s a bit early to say. He got his mother’s eyes & complexion and his father’s nose & cheeks! He got my…hmmm…hmmm… well, it’s really too early to say but I wish he will get my charms (hahaha)!

Trivia: I was the one who gave Nico his name, Dominic Asher! To be fair enough, I gave my brother and his wife several options to choose from and they liked that one! The words Dominic Asher mean ‘belonging to God’ and ‘blessed and happy’ respectively! (Lucky for them, I don’t have a baby of mine yet, or else, that name wouldn’t be available anymore.)

Welcome Baby Nico! Welcome into our lives and we love you so much!

More Patience Please...

I can't believe I have been out that long! February has been a terrible month for me... and the feelings still extend until this month of March. I just couldn't feel 'focused' with anything... and it seems like everything are out of control! But luckily, I am still surviving the everyday hassles of life. I guess those thingsmake life more interesting and challenging! It made more believe in 'patience is a virtue'. I guess more than just a virtue, it is a necessity especially in these ever-changing, ever-hectic and ever-demanding times.

So before anyone of you out there gets out of control (like I did), ponder on these words of wisdom:

"When we are angry our feelings change from moment to moment. Anger produces feelings that are unreliable. Our feelings often rise and fall as our energy is drawn from the unstable emotions present when anger is being expressed. In those moments our feelings may not be the most reliable source of information to help us move past it. Before you blow up, cool down." - Larry James

hAPPY

IT's GOOD TO BE BACK!

Let GO and Let GOD

Letting go takes love. It is a part of our growth process. Letting go could mean opening up new possibilities and welcoming new opportunities. It entails us to grow and mature in so many ways. While the act of “letting go” hurts, we cannot move on until we cling on to the past.

Letting go is not being selfish but actually being selfless. You allow yourself to grow as well as the other person. It is going beyond your comfort zone. Letting go is a responsibility not just a mere act of getting out of the situation. It requires changes and improvements.

Letting go needs courage. We have to be strong to let go especially when the relationship becomes unhealthy to both partners; most of the times when it hinders our personal or spiritual growth.

Letting go is not saying ‘to forget’ or ‘to ignore’ but to learn from the past experiences. By all means, we should carry with us the ‘happy memories’ and the lessons we have learned from our past relationships. Only that, we have to let go and release the emotional baggage so we could open up ourselves and be present for the new relationship.

Letting go could mean we need extra help from the ONE above; that there are still much greater purpose and reasons why things happened that way. It could also mean that there are things that we don’t have control with. And only by humbly surrendering ourselves, we could understand more and appreciate the reason for letting go.

Let us not be afraid to let go even if it hurts us. Don’t be afraid to let go even if it means losing the person (we cared for and loved) for good. Sometimes, what we are really scared of is the feeling of animosity. We feel that it’s going to be hard losing the person we once had and loved and depended on.

And when it hurts too much, we still have a lifeline. We can turn to the ONE who always provide comfort and peace; the ONE who is close to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18). Let us always believe that God will never leave us in the middle of our journey! Not now, not ever!

What's in the Middle?

Nothing is so new in my life the past few weeks. I sometimes feel that everything becomes a routine. I begin to self-inquire and sometimes confronted by my own stuff. I sometimes want to do other things, try to venture into new habits or opportunities but somehow it seems I am powerless to choose another course of action!

Grrr… what is happening to me? I usually ask myself… am I now experiencing midlife crisis? But I guess it's a little too early for that! I still have a year to go(giggles)...

Midlife they say are those years when most of us begin to be uncomfortable with the direction our lives are taking. So, we ask ourselves “what now?”, “what’s next?”

Most of us are afraid to change and become anxious about the future! We become restless with our decisions and uneasy with our actions. We are uncertain of what really lies there at the other end. We feel we want to have a difference but are too afraid of trying because we are too afraid to fail. Some people choose to hide out from life and do nothing while some quit trying and watch life pass them and by and wonder why!

Sometimes, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate to the task rather the fear of failure. But the wise ones make some new choices; the spirit to do something different and dare to be different!

“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure” – Marriane Williamson

Welcome to the unsettling years! This happens to both men and women in different ways each. These are the times when we feel we are doing little to help fulfill our needs and others close to us. It is when we notice when our needs are not being met; we become restless.

They say a mid-life crisis is only a crisis we create! It is called mid-life crisis for it is believed that those are the times when people (in their mid-life years) experience confusion, discouragement, and feel relatively unproductive!

How to get through this?

It is miserable to get stuck with this so called ‘crisis’! We only get through it when we get past our fears to make new discoveries! It’s terrifying to know that we are the very source of our own misery. Some people never reach that understanding.

As we free ourselves from fears, we begin to love ourselves more. We start to put more into life and receiving more from it. We recognize more options. We feel good about discovering our greatest power… CHOICE! It is the best time to play big and get out from our self-imposed shells.

Let us not forget to understand our own feelings and what caused them, where they came from, who were responsible for them or what else might have influenced them. Those moments of understanding are enlightening!

It is best to demonstrate courage and love instead of fear! Live responsible in the present. FEEL and FILL every moment with love and great opportunities. Focus on now! The past is gone. Accept it. The future lives in the present! When we live in the present, we live happier, longer and a satisfying life. Touch this moment!

Get over with this so-called ‘mid-life crisis’ over early. If you feel that your life is just a series of upsets and compromises and you want to make up with the lost times, start moving on NOW. Be present. Live life moment by moment and enjoy every moment brings.

Most especially, don't forget to recognize the people around you. They are angels sent by God to help us enjoy life at the present. Yes, indeed we are the master of our own lives.

A Confirmation of LOVE

I arrived a little early in the school’s chapel. I found a comfortable seat at the last pew where I comfortably watched the young adolescent children chatting and buzzing around as they waited for their parents and godparents. I could see myself in them some years ago. Those blooming teenage kids, about 11-13 years old, were so lively and energetic. It was as if they own the world around them. They’re just so excited to explore and discover everything! For them, nothing in this life is too complicated. They will just about to experience greater challenges in the years ahead. My mind played with them as I wondered how they would be several years from now!

It was my first time to stand as a godmother and sponsor in a confirmation. Two of my boss’ sons will be receiving the sacrament of confirmation and I was invited to be the godmother of the elder son, Vince. The younger one, Allen, had just left the hospital to receive the sacrament and will soon return right after the confirmation for his scheduled operation on the following day. The doctor was just considerate enough to allow Allen attend his confirmation just so adding more strength, spiritually, before his operation.

Finally, my boss came with her two sons. The rite was about to begin. The commentator asked the students to go to their assigned places and announced the beginning of the Holy Mass. My boss and I sat beside each other. It was a solemn mass. In the homily, the Bishop explained to the students the value of the sacrament of confirmation. I did listen very well too! I must admit that of all the seven sacraments, it is the sacrament of confirmation that I don’t have enough knowledge about! The students listened attentively, though I knew most of these kids don’t really mind about the sacrament they will about to receive. Well anyway, I never mind too when I was at their age!

The rite itself started after the bishop’s homily. The godparents were asked to walk with their godchildren towards the bishop for the anointing of oil (chrism). My godson is a lot taller than I am. I told my godson that the bishop might lay his hands on me instead; of course that was just a joke! As we approached the bishop, I thought of the word ‘responsibility’. As a godmother, I should be a living-good example to him. I have several godchildren under the sacrament of baptism but this one is different. The feelings were different! Since, my godson is already a teenager; I anticipate greater expectations from him.

After the rite, I went back to my seat right beside my boss, and then the mass continued. After receiving the communion, my boss suddenly broke into tears. I was so surprised. I have never seen her crying, not even once! I could remember when she told me “in our work, I couldn’t afford to be emotional”… For me, she’s an emotionless, apathetic person. I hated her. But at that very moment when I saw her crying, all my impressions about her vanished just like a wind! I couldn’t do anything but to comfort her and gave her a hug. I could feel her pains. She told me “I am so afraid! I am so afraid for my little boy’s operation!” Really, those words melted my heart away. Then, I found myself crying with her! Nothing is more painful than to see a mother crying much more to hear the cries! My boss shared to me “I only cry when he’s sleeping. When he wakes up, I have to smile again!”

It is really difficult to be a mother because you can’t show them your weak spots; you can’t cry in front of them or they lose hearts. You have to show that you are strong even when you are not because they gather strength from you.

At that instant, I remembered my mother! I remembered the times I gave my mom head aches and pains. I remembered how she gets worried every time I got sick or hurt. I remembered how she used to tell me to ‘do this’ or ‘do that’, ‘not that one’ or ‘this one is better’! I remembered how often times, I did not appreciate her for that simple gestures of love and care. I felt guilty; I thought she’s too hard and upright without looking deeper into her emotions and intentions. I failed to understand that she has feelings too just like me but she has to show me that she’s strong. I may not fully understand everything now but I know someday I will! Especially when I become a mother myself! I know I am so much like her. Just like in one of the memorable lines in the movie “Armageddon”, (Grace to her father, Harry): “I lied to you, too, when I told you that I didn't wanna be like you, because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me I have from you.”

Later that day, I realized, more than just witnessing the sacrament of confirmation (for the first time), it also confirmed and strengthen my thinking about a mother’s love; a love that is true and pure; a love that is so assuring and constant. A mother's love is instinctual, unconditional, and forever!

Let’s be grateful to our mothers by simply appreciating their presence in our lives! Let us pray for them that they may always have the passion inside them to love and nurture their families!

"A mother is she who can take the place of all others."- Cardinal Mermillod