Looking Back

“It’s funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.”

In a relationship, it is good to take a look on how things get started. Sometimes, as the relationship grows older, couples tend to forget how sweet the days were. Couples began to be more focused with their work and other priorities that sometimes they neglect the little things that need to be recognized.

According to Mike Murdock’s book:

The Law of Recognition

Everything you need is already in your life, merely awaiting your recognition of it;
Anything unrecognized remains uncelebrated by you;
Anything you refuse to celebrate usually exits your life: a Gift, a Miracle, or a Person.

Neglecting the one you love by not giving enough of your time seems not to be a problem, especially when couples ignore to talk about it. But the truth is, the longer the situation remains, there is a tendency of withdrawal – withdrawal of feelings, withdrawal of communication.

“At one time in your life, the one you have loved the most will unexpectedly turn out to be the greatest stranger you have ever met.”

It’s saddens me every time I realize how couples were too intimate at the start of the relationship, and eventually fades out as time goes by. It is unlikely to see very old couples walking hand in hand like they used to as ‘sweethearts’. Although, sometimes I see some and I admire them. It is too unlikely to see husbands assisting their wives as they cross the street or riding a bus, compared when they were not married yet.

I admire one of our authors' love life, ma'am Lilia. She and her husband remained very intimate until this time. Her husband would fetch her everyday in the office without fail; may there be storm, floods, or none. Daddy, as how we called her husband, would always check if ma’am Lilia has taken her lunch or snacks already. Ma’am Lilia remained very special and still being treated like a queen until this time at her age of 75. For over 50 years of marriage, they have kept the love, sweetness, and warmth of their relationship.

One time, I asked ma’am Lilia what are the usual causes of their arguments and she proudly told me that they never had any severe fights. It is something that is really hard to believe. She simply said “We never had any severe or worst fight because we don’t have any time for that. When I am trying to explain something, Daddy would listen and respect my opinion. When Daddy is trying to explain something, I will listen and respect his opinion. We are entitled to our own opinions in life and it’s just a matter of accepting and respecting each other’s view. If you don’t agree to each other’s opinion, the least you can do is respect it. It’s reciprocal.”

It’s hard to find such a relationship exists in today’s time. But, one thing is for sure, it is not impossible! If things get worse, try to look back from where the relationship starts. The amount of love given from the start should be the same amount (and much better if greater than it used to be) of love that is still being demonstrated and expressed no matter how old the relationship is. Never get tired of loving each other no matter how many trials the relationship goes through.

“It is always a risk to love someone, and it involves time, patience, and understanding to get someone’s heart to open up. At times, it will work; other times, it won’t. But that’s why you call it a RISK – you invest something and there’s a possibility you won’t win. However, you still get something in return: strength of heart and mind, and the assurance that you won’t have any regret from not trying.”