My Vigan Outing

I just got back from Vigan outing last April 30-May2. It was a long-awaited get-away and was supposed to the happiest outing of my life, but it turned the other way around. I left for Vigan with a heavy heart. I didn’t know how I was able to last the trip. The SERENITY prayer helped me endured the entire outing. As how the prayer goes… “GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENTIY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.” I kept on repeating those lines in my head to gather some strength from it.

I remembered how I planned the outing well and was too excited about it. It was planned long ahead and I just couldn’t mess it up by backing out so I tried so hard to pull my knees to get there. I felt too much pain and even made me cry watching my friends having fun with their own stuffs. I couldn’t imagine how I would keep up until the very last day.

I tried to isolate myself from the group since they have their own agenda and company. I spent most of my time visiting the old/ antique churches of the town. I was just glad Lhoraine and Bullet kept me company though I knew they were aware about my state of being. My emotions were too contagious, that’s why I also gave them the time to be together alone, so I wouldn’t spoil their being together.

I only had a few shots with a forced smile on my face. I thought to myself, I wish I just could leave everything there and true enough, I left a part of my heart in Vigan with a promise that someday I’ll be back to appreciate the place and the experience.

When it’s time to pack-up, I exhaled heavily telling myself that I have survived the outing… I have survived the pain. It was hard to be there and pretend to be happy when in fact I was suffering inside. I was deafened with the sound of my own emotions. Nevertheless, it taught me to be more patient and more trusting to God; that whatever situation I am into, He will always be there to provide me strength and courage.

Next week, I will be in Bohol for a 3-day seminar (May 13-15). Sometimes, it helps to be away and be busy with something else. Somehow, it diverts my mind and turns sorrows into labor of love. I am praying and hoping that one day, I could write betters and happier thoughts here. Soon, I could get back on my feet, hopefully with the same old smile on my face, but with a bigger heart and a stronger soul.

"How I wish that I might have what I asked for and that God would give me what I hoped for. How I wish God would crush me and reach out his hands to destroy me. Then I would have this comfort and be glad even in this unending pain, because I would know I did not reject the words of the Holy One." - Job 6:8-10